Sometimes it takes a little humor to cope with horrific realities in the world. While there is no question that abortion is a horrible reality in our world, it is only here because fools fail to realize that there is a better way to live. Some of those fools are still defending Planned Parenthood.

Instead of surrendering to rage, I put a short list of potential slogans together. Maybe Cecile Richards would like to make a little money by buying these from me. Anything to do a little better than break even, right? I’ll even sell parts of the slogans. I don’t know what I’d charge for each specimen… I mean slogan, so I’ll just ask them what they are used to paying. If it seems too low, we can just bump it up.

As you read this, keep in mind that the butt of these jokes is Planned Parenthood. As far as I can tell, butts don’t have much value, so they can be crushed, but there seems to be no brain among abortion advocates, so there isn’t much to salvage after the abortion lobby is crushed by defunding Planned Parenthood.

New Slogans For Planned Parenthood

1. We don’t have a heart, but your baby does and it is worth $75.00.
2. We want to be really clear. Don’t believe anything bad about us. Even though the video evidence shows our executives chatting about selling baby body parts.
3. We only crush the bad parts – the rest make us money.
4. Crushing the crunchy parts of babies since 1973.
5. It’s all about tone. Nevermind all this talk about harvesting the organs of dead babies.
6. Green Compassion: We harvest the valuable baby parts. The rest of the baby is burned to produce electricity to heat your home.
7. Recycling baby body parts is our passion (and Lamborghinis too). Zoom Zoom.
8. Fact: Adoption makes it impossible to sell your child’s liver. Please sign here.
9. Doing a little better than breaking even since 1973 (by selling dead baby parts).
10. We don’t just do abortions, we sell the pieces too!

Bonus slogans:

1. We can’t buy a conscience, but we sure can sell your child’s liver.
2. Funding political campaigns with your child’s lungs is as easy as signing our consent form.
3. Compassionate care (for our profit margin).
4. Why simply tear your baby apart when we can modify the technique and make a few extra bucks off the parts?
5. Abortion doctors need Lamborghinis too.
6. It is just a lump of tissue that by some wild coincidence, happens to have a human heart, brain, lungs, etc…
7. Here is our menu. Our special today is liver.
8. Is that a hidden camera?
9. Stop using our own admissions against us!!!
10. Don’t bother us, we are thinking.

That’s enough for now. I’d like to hear any slogans you can come up with, so feel free to comment with yours. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t sell your baby without your consent. Also, you can vote on your favorite one. I’ll bump the price up on that one, as the price should certainly be reflected in the demand, right?